Forced to eat shrimp!

LOS ANGELES

The subhead on the CBS press release reads: "Reporters Stranded in a Remote Los Angeles Suburb Brave Chilling Air Conditioning, Exotic Performers and Hungry Colleagues to Survive 20 Days and Win Insightful Stories.''

The joke, of course, is that CBS used its own Survivor success to announce its portion of the Television Critics Assn. press event next month.

Here are details: "The reporters, divided into tribes of their own choosing, will trudge through over-carpeted hallways, brave Pasadena smog, fight though buffet lines of famished colleagues, endure fingers frozen around cylindrical drinking vessels, risk interviewing actors and executives with tiny recorders in noisy rooms-and why?" Michael Silver, CBS director of communications, and author of this mini-gem, has seen 30 years' worth of tours. "I stand by every word," he says.