Stephen Colbert, who will take the helm at CBS' The Late Show, made his debut at the net's Carnegie Hall upfront Wednesday.
The comedian and host appeared in a jokey video with CBS president and CEO Les Moonves and then unleashed several strong minutes of material that drew consistent, hearty laughs.
Some highlights:
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" he asked. "You take over a late night talk show and it turns out it's mandatory."
"CBS is known as the Tiffany Network — that was William Paley's favorite stripper. It was this close to being the Cinnamon Network."
"We're looking for eyeballs — and not just the kind Rupert Murdoch buys on the black market."
"Here is my urine sample," Colbert told Moonves onstage. "I don't need your urine," Moonves replied. "It's not mine," Colbert said. "I want to pass the test. Thanks for doing me a solid, Charlie Rose!"
CBS brought out its other late night host James Cordon, who is two months into his run at the helm of The Late Late Show.
"We've only done 26 episodes," said the very appreciative U.K. import. "The great thing about late night is historically you get better with time... I'm excited to see where we are at the end of the year."
Cordon thanked CBS for "giving me a chance after I didn't get the role of Supergirl, and that still hurts." Cordon then had a little fun with the DC Comics drama's star Melissa Benoist. "I know what you did to get that role and it was disgusting."
Cordon took a moment to tout his future late-night companion. "When Stephen Colbert starts his show, I really feel like we have a great opportunity at doing something which is new and fresh."
Cordon wrapped with: "Thank you for listening to the ramblings of an idiot."
